The Perfectionist's Prison

Ten years ago, as a bright-eyed new teacher, I wasn't just striving for excellence – I was obsessed with it.

Every PowerPoint slide meticulously designed.

Every lesson plan an elaborate performance.

Every weekend sacrificed at the altar of perfectionism.

The results? My lessons were brilliant. My career trajectory was enviable. Promotions came quickly.

But at what cost? My evenings. My weekends. My peace of mind. The constant, gnawing fear that anything less than perfection meant failure.

When colleagues discussed work-life balance, there were two camps:

• The burnout believers: "This is teaching. Get used to the hours."

• The boundary setters: "You're replaceable. No one's checking your font choices. Get a life."

I wanted to believe the second group. Logically, I knew they were right. But emotionally? I couldn't make the leap. The fear of judgment and failure held me captive.

Then came motherhood.

It wasn't that I suddenly cared less about my work. It wasn't that I had an epiphany about work-life balance.

It was simpler than that: I ran out of hours.

Childcare pickup deadlines meant leaving work on time. Bedtime routines left me too exhausted for late-night work sessions. Weekends belonged to tiny humans who couldn't care less about my PowerPoint animations.

And here's what shocked me: the quality of my work didn't suffer.

Yes, my slides were less pretty. My lessons less theatrical. But I became laser-focused on what truly mattered. I discovered the power of "good enough" – and it was revolutionary.

The Perfectionism Epidemic

As a coach now, I see perfectionism's devastating effects daily across my client base. What I witnessed among students has only intensified in our hyper-connected world.

Social media has supercharged our tendency to compare and despair. The perfect bodies, careers, relationships, and lives we scroll past daily set impossible standards.

Through my coaching, I've helped clients understand that perfectionism appears in three distinct forms:

• Self-oriented perfectionism: Setting impossible standards for yourself (my personal demon)

• Other-oriented perfectionism: Expecting unrealistic perfection from others

• Socially-prescribed perfectionism: Believing others expect perfection from you

My Path: From Criminology to Teaching to Coaching

My journey began as a Social Scientist with a Masters in Criminology and then working for South Wales Police. Driven to make a difference earlier in people's lives, I transitioned to teaching children. Now, I've come full circle, primarily coaching adults again (though I occasionally work with younger clients too).

Through each career evolution, my core mission remained constant: helping others reach their potential. What changed was how I could best serve that mission.

Today, some of my work involves helping high-achievers break free from perfectionism's grip.

My approach is straightforward – no unnecessary fluff or jargon.

I remain compassionate while challenging my clients to find their own answers and reach their true potential.

My varied background gives me unique insight into how perfectionism develops and how it can be redirected into healthy achievement. My clients learn to channel their drive for excellence without sacrificing their wellbeing.

A New Relationship with Excellence

I still maintain high standards for myself and my work. The difference? These standards now come from self-love rather than fear. As a believer in continuous self-development, I am always reflecting on my life and my work. I strive to be the best mother, girlfriend, coach, and well human! I now fully believe in myself. I don’t hide from being uncomfortable.

I know I’m not perfect and never will be, but I know I will always try my best.

And that’s good enough.